Paging Nurse Stoner

Duuuuuuude, who wouldn’t want to be a nurse. Like… totally… you get to like… chill. With sick people. And like, there’s all kinds of trippy stuff to play with. whoooooaaaaah…

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Chuckie needs you

There is no grant in the world big enough to make me want to be alone in a room with Demon Baby.

(Thanks Beezo)

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Vision Test

What do you see in this picture? The correct answer is E K M Z W off an eye chart. If you answered a jet in the sky, you are wrong. Of course it wouldn’t be a jet. What does a jet have to do with lasik surgery? You clearly are in need of surgery and we can help you.

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Bipartisian Win

After going back and forth for years, the public health care plan has been revised, revisited, revamped, nearly removed and is now released to the public. Everyone gets a tax exempt razor. 49 people can’t be wrong.

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Downgrading the fleet

I’ve been dreaming of taking a cruise for a really long time but I always pictured myself on a huge ship with shimmering sea around me as I sipped champagne.

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Great Gamers

We’re not exactly sure what a descret adult is, but our guess is that they wear sunglasses so you don’t recognize them when they are looking at notty pitchurs.

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Today’s Deal

Dr Tuchnpheil specializes in treating paranoid disillusions and is offering therapy sessions half off today. No, your fruit salad is not going to attack you.

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More to Love

Open casting call for TLC’s newest hit – “Kate Dates Eight” Must be interested in being tabloid fodder, wrangling an octet of ankle biters and putting up with daily emasculation.

(thanks Cindy)

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Dream bigger

Sure, your office job pays well, but think how much more you could be making as an exotic dancer. We can train you.

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Seeking Crunchy Man Who Goes Well With Ketchup

Big and beautiful single eternal seeks single human male for serious short term relationship. Love long walks on the beach and bonfires. Dwarves need not apply.

(Thanks Brady)

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